Thursday, January 14, 2016

Friends in Low Places

I've mentioned by depression before. I've written about it here and on social media. I've written about one of the lowest points where I was planning my suicide. So it's nothing new for anyone.

One of my last posts was right as another episode began. This one was worse than usual, thanks to Wellbutrin. Just in case you weren't aware, "wellbutrin" is latin for "this is gonna fuck you up." Not only did it not do what it was supposed to, but for almost six weeks I was a terrified, anxious, paranoid mess. I'm not on that any more, and life is much better.

I've always struggled with opening up to friends and asking for help. I like to think I've gotten better about reaching out to people without feeling like a burden. As I've told others, and struggle to remind myself, I don't have to go through this alone. Sometimes I can call a friend and ask if they want to join me while I get drunk in my shower.

Now, here's where it gets random. I know who I can lean on. What I didn't know was that I could lean on my Ex Husband Within The Next Two Weeks. We're divorcing because we weren't happy together, but you don't spend almost a decade of your life with someone and write them off entirely. We both agreed we still cared about one another, and he was amazingly supportive and did what he could to get me out of that depression. He talked to me and even helped me get some stuff fixed around my house.

It was really comforting to have something so familiar around, and to be able to talk to someone that has seen me go through this before. We've grown apart, but at one point there was no one closer to me. Still, after everything I was reassured that I'm on the right path. It was great to catch up and talk to him, but more as a matter of closure. That chapter is done and we've both moved on in our own ways.

So, join me next time. Where I discuss the fun vacation with my dad and how I joined a dating app.

I did it for the stories. You should thank me.

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